4.11.2009

Last night, I had three dreams

It is prom night. Again. I am clad in my white ball gown with a patterned green blue and white belt and my two and a half inch white bowed heels. I have the same make-up: my cheeks and lips a shade of sweet pink and my eyes shaped with green blue eyeliner to match my belt.
Everyone's in the grade 7 activity room -2 classrooms whose dividers were moved to the sides to make it more spacious. The chairs -the normal armchairs painted with that dull shade of gray- were lined-up facing the -what could be more interesting?- blackboard, where the stage is as well. There are no tables and those dull gray armchairs were arranged as if we were to have classes, only it is more crowded. At the back of the room, across the stage, past the chairs is the buffet. The light is not lit in that part of the room. It's dark there.
I am outside, sitting on the hallway floor with the rest of...the dancers. My skirt is spread out around me, my hands are on my lap -that sort of picture where you look all pretty and proper-, waiting for our cue. We enter, I and the rest of the dancers prance along that empty space bordering the columns and rows of chairs, arms up in the air like an arch above my head...

I am in a grocery store, with my parents -particularly my mom- and my siblings. My sister and I pass across a table with goodies: snacks wrapped in glossy packaging. My mom and brother stroll ahead of us. There is a small rectangular plate above the table with goodies, freebies -sort of free taste-, I think to myself. It is the new 'kind' of Cloud 9 -the one with the wafer and crispies with chocolate coating and filling. I grab my sister's arm and point. There's an open one which was already bitten at the top. It is next to 2 more packs of untouched Cloud 9. I grab the eaten one and stroll along with my sister -we share the treat.
Fast forward.
A saleslady walks over to us -my sister and I are with my mom and brother already- and accuses us of opening a package. We question her and deny it. She leads us to a different table of goodies and points. I speak, saying we did not get anything from there nor opened anything from that table (while I thought to myself that nothing seems touched in that table anyway). I move across to the next table where we took the Cloud 9 and say we got the free treat from there. My mom argues with the lady and we leave her there. I hear the lady speak to her colleagues but her words are muffled (I think she's talking about her medical insurance or something) and I couldn't understand what she's saying because her voice starts to fade into the background..

The rain's pouring hard -it seems like it's a storm. My dad and I are in the car and it's night time, the sight's blurry and the road is rocky (we're making our way to the highway), it's dark. We make a rushed turn to the right to find someone in a red shirt next to us rapping a the window -she manages to dodge our dash, thank God! She knows me, I know her, she's Jaemi Ham, one of my batchmates. She is asking for a ride -as her actions revealed- and I am just about to roll down the iwindow when my dad steps on the gas -really steps on it. And so Jaemi's silhouette fades into the darkness. I become frantic as my dad drives real quick. I shout at him asking why he didn't stop, telling him my friend needed and effin' ride! He wasn't speaking -I knew how he didn't want any riders in the car: he's lazy when it comes to dropping off friends a their places. "We can drop her off somewhere near her place and she can work from there!" I continue screaming at him and I wail and thrash the car. I am screaming the whole -crazy. It's raining hard, we left Jaemi there, it's dark, I feel guilty, leaving her is a bad deed.. At the end, my dad turns the car around and I somehow relax..I know I didn't exactly want to give her a ride -but I don't want not to give her a ride too. In the back of my head I hear a voice saying "you don't really want to save her, you just feel guilty you're doing a bad thing" -something like that.. My dad and I go back then and I wait for us to reach the destination where we last saw Jaemi and I'm still tense in my seat worrying what if we don't find her...I send Zian a message asking her what the cel number of Jaemi is -to make sure its identical to the one I have, stored in my phonebook. I anticipate her reply and every second adds more to the tension. I'm on the edge of my seat, we're nearing the place where we last saw Jaemi...

In the middles of the tension, fear and other-bothersome-I-can't-shake-off-feelings, I wake-up.

Dream ends and I am almost thankful it isn't true -I thought it was! And I wouldn't, couldn't forgive myself, if we left Jaemi stranded in the rain. Lol.

Phew.