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Still figuring myself out...
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And now you're gone and I'm haunted


Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy

Oh my blog, I missed you! If I could give you the tightest, warmest, squeeze-the-hell-out-of-you hug, I definitely would do so right now! What? Two days of not updating you about my past frolics -though they haven't been many, I tell you- that seems totally unfair! I admit though that for those moments, I have abandoned you though I badly needed to post a post, I resorted to my cell phone which was within reach and would not take years to load (as to this computer does)..

December 26, 2008
I'm up and about with Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows -I can't seem to put it down even for internet usage and I thougt I'd give-up anything for that. Proves I'm wrong I guess.
J.K. Rowling is the master! -Hahaha, that sounds geek- To have an imagination like that? Better than Stephenie Meyer in my opinion though their novels come from two different perspectives and fantasy-plots.
Oh gosh, I love them both! -but right now I guess I love Rowling more as brought about by the pretense of the moment. Um, to those who care, I do put the book down for eating and bathroom breaks. ;) -and yes, I know, I'm over half of the world's population late. Lol.

-And as much as I want to keep every detail, every emotion it conjured within me, I know the feat is impossible..
..And that's what makes me resort to avoidance. Avoidance of things I'd want to have with me for as long as I want, for as long as it is possible but -there's always a but- know I'd have to let go of sooner or later.
Why bother keeping something when you'd lose it in the end anyway?
(I know that was such a pessimistic thought. Forgive me.)

December 27, 2008
And there it was, the end.. dangling at my head, under the tip of my squat nose. I saw it coming. I knew it was coming. I braced myself for it, but still.. it affected me the way it would even if I wasn't expecting it.
But why not expect an ending?
An ending always comes. A time when you'd have to part, to let go, to detach.
Why does it always have to get me?
Me. (Saying it again makes me sound selfish, I know. Sorry.)
Me. The emotional-tear-jerking-at-any-moment-that-proved-sentimental-even
-A question rendered unanswerable maybe for ever.
...I must read the epilogue.

Later on..
Gosh. An ending. How do I feel? I have no idea, really.
Hm..maybe pacified?
Honestly, what I don't like about endings is that I'm never ready for them.
Though you brace yourself for it, though you prepared and know it's coming at you one time or another, you'd never be ready for it.
My guess is, it's always like that, or almost always at least.
You're not ready, but you accept, you learn to accept.
But why endings when you always seem to crave more of it afterwards? To have it never-ending?
...I should stop; put an end to this pondering.
To what would it lead me anyway? To somberness?
What would I get out of pondering? Emotional heartache?
I might as well distract myself.


Above are snippets from my phone's Drafts folder -plus some of my side comments.
-all those for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows -and for all the books I've read for almost always all the time, (I know that is grammatically wrong but I don't care -tactless) as the case is I resort to the same mood/s after reading books.

That's what I've been doing since yesterday 'till this late afternoon and it was definitely worth it. Books are always worthy -at least most of them. Hahaha!

OH, OH, OH I want to start a book! -and of course finish it. I have started one last July and I echo, July! And it's been months since but I see a continuance on the works. *wink*

Chasing down a never ending make-believe
The Boston Drama - Typecast


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