Episode 9 of Boys Before Flowers.
I am frustrated and ecstatic at the same time. And since I want to end on a good note, I'll share the reason behind my frustration first which, come to think of it, is the same reasons why I'm ecstatic.
I'm frustrated because my dream first kiss, how I imagined my first kiss would be, was aired on international television! :( Geum Jan Di's and Gu Jun Pyo's first kiss happened in a playground, with Jan Di on the swing and Jun Pyo half-kneeling on the ground. That's exactly how I imagined my first kiss would be: playground (minus the Christmas lights :p), I on the swing, guy on the ground, half-kneeling/crouching, plus a few more details so you can imagine exactly how it is all happening. I even wrote it down so I won't forget about it! I'll copy-paste it here at the end of this post. :p
I'm frustrated that it's been done already, therefore my 'dream first kiss' isn't so original anymore. :| Hahaha. I guess it's time to come up with a new dream first kiss?
...It's not that easy.
Oh, I also have a dream proposal! Lol. I haven't written it down yet though. I shall do so. Soon.
The second feeling, (I'm also ecstatic remember?), is brought about by the same reason which made me frustrated. Their first kiss! Lol. Well, who wouldn't feel elated when the lips of the tv show couple you're voting for finally meeet? In a Christmas lights lit playground, on a cold snowy evening, with the girl on the swing and the guy on the ground, half-kneeling and leaning in to kiss the lips of his beloved?
Jan Di and Jun Pyo finally kiss!
We continued going around the village until we got tired and decided to have the village’s abandoned playground as our last stop.
“Well…this looks new.” I said half-laughing.
“There aren’t much kids around here to play with the swing, the seesaw, nor the monkey bars…you get the point.” He chuckled.
“There are always the kids at heart.” I nudged him on the elbow and ran to my happy place –the swing.
I heard him laugh and follow me. He sat on the ground, a few foot away from me –where he could hear me if I happen to babble which, granted being me, I surely will.
I started gabbing away while he listened, uncomplaining, unspeaking.
“Why aren’t you saying anything? Am I boring you?” I asked curiously with my head tilting a little to the side. He smiled at me and said quit matter-of-factly “I enjoy listening to you, you pretty much say everything for the both of us, and no, you’re not boring me. ..Fat chance on that one.”
We both laughed at that.
We joked around a couple more times, trying to get as many laughs in between our words.
We remained silent after a while. It wasn’t awkward, it wasn’t boring, just comfortable, actually.
It stayed that way for who knows how long when he popped the most random question I never expected him to ask given that moment.
“May I kiss you?”
I take my eyes away from the stars in the night sky to look at his. He didn’t look like he was joking, he looked..expectant. “Err..” I start “I guess.”
He took his eyes away from mine –and I witnessed my heart ache without knowing why. I observed his face change from non-caring to deep in thought, his eyebrows furrowing. His wore the latter expression for some time but when he looked back at me, he wore the look of nonchalance –like he didn’t just ask me a random-out-of-nowhere-didn’t-even-give-me-a-warning-question– and then said quite smugly “Was just asking.” Then he looked away.
I felt my heart crush inside of me and as a reflection, I gritted my teeth –to hold my tears back, just in case. Well that hurt. I thought to myself. I was expecting he would…Oh well. I added to my thought. No kiss for me I guess.
I resorted back to staring at the stars so I looked up at the velvet night sky painted with those small orbs of light. I started counting them –as a distraction-slash-defense mechanism I think– my eyes were starting to burn. I heard him hum a few times then stop then repeat the pattern. After a while, he stopped permanently.
For all the time he was doing this, I continued my counting for fear I would cry when I look down. When I felt that no tears would fall when I look down again, I looked back to that area of grass where I expected to find him but his face was inches from mine, very close. Too close. I could count his lashes for all I know and even estimate the diameter of the mole under his eye. I took a breath and held it.
“I love you.” He said gently.
My heart melted and raced at the same time. I closed my eyes.
This is too impossible to be real..but I felt his touch. It was his hand that I felt on my right hand –the one holding the chains of the swing I was in.
He intertwined our fingers with utmost care and I did not dare open my eyes for fear it might break the dream I pretended to be in.
I knew he moved closer when I caught a whiff of his scent that he usually rubs at the ends of his jaw. He rested his cheek on my left one. I remained still, immobile. He sighed.
“I love you.” He repeated, whispering to my ear.
I slowly let out the breath I’ve been holding.
I opened my eyes.
“I..” I began
-and then he kissed me.
It's mine. Understood?
"I don't just want to be your regret."
Medicine Man - The Hush Sound