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Still figuring myself out...
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And Our Love Could Have Soared


I Still Remember by The Bloc Party

I'm not exactly sure.
My friend and I have this thing for the beautiful kind of sad, the tragic kind of beautiful, the achingly beautiful, the broken, the fragile, yet, while at it, remains beautiful.

I dunno if this is something along those lines.
I don't think so.

It's just, sad. Sad that it's depressing.
The only thing that kept me going until the book's end was that tiny spark of hope within me for the possibility of a happy ending.
All throughout the story was just full of horrible things happening to a fourteen year old boy.
But heck, I was warned by the book's summary at the back of the paperback cover wasn't I? So I shouldn't really complain.
His parents were splitting up, his sister has a some major eating disorder issues, and well, he just decided to disappear somewhere in the middle of it all.
Not literally, figuratively.
He just decided to be invisible and he struggling internally
and I don't know if I was just trying so hard to find myself in the boy
'cause I guess I did, just a little bit.
In the part where he just played in the background, being observant...trying to fix things when in fact he hasn't been living his life.
He was just being passive.
The only part where we aren't the same I guess, is the part when he acknowledges that he's allowed himself to be invisible for quite a long time and it's time to actually live an un-invisible life.

Reminds me, The Perks of Being A Wallflower (Ayna, I beg you to read this).
This and that book have similarities, I must say.
Enough ranting, moving on...

Did the book have a happy ending though?

The ending left too many rooms for possibilities.
But I guess, that spark of hope became something that is a just little bit more than a spark.
Which could leave me at ease at least.

Still, it wasn't an explosion.

"Standing on the edge of safe."
The Con by Tegan and Sara


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